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| So. So you want to hold yourself accountable for your aging. Well, I am going to have to recommend the Tri-U-Mah event. For the second year in a row, I paid to have people abuse me. And for the second year in a row, I had a great time.
This year it was on February 10th (always the 2nd Sunday of Feb?). Nathan's birthday was on the 9th. And I was supposed to preach on Sunday the 10th as well. Karen wisely nudged me to have someone else on the church board cover the sermon. So while that probably kept me from being overwhelmed, my nerves got worse the closer I got to the event. There's something about a test; about behind held accountable, that just makes me really nervous. If I take a test seriously, whatever kind it may be, I become afraid of failing. I get wound up. If I'm not walking into it confident that I'll score and 'A' or be the best in the class, or in my age category, or at least the best I've ever done, a part of me starts to cringe. Then Karen said something that helped me out immensely. I mumbled to her about how nervous I was getting and she said "Oh, well last year you had a great time. After the event you were really up and energized." Oh? I was? Really. Huh. Well, I guess that changes things! Alrighty then! God bless my wife. What a wonderful friend. I decided what she said was true, and then recalled all the positive encouragement of the volunteers and fellow participants.
I still had some reasons to be nervous. I hadn't done any lap swimming in the pool in over a month, and what I had done recently was just a few sessions of 30 minutes to build up my arm and shoulder muscles. Also, I had neglected the bike for the last 4+ months as I suddenly found a new way to push myself on the treadmill (finally breaking 6 miles in 60 minutes). Would the treadmill conditioning carry over to the swim? Would the bit of swimming I'd done be enough to get me by? Would the bike thrash my legs? Last year I'd gone so hard on the bike ride that I'd tweaked my left calf muscle and been hobbled on the run.
I have Karen drop me off about an hour ahead of time. I sign in, get my magic number on my right leg (1206), and hang out by the pool. The previous heat is going at it, swimming away, and I make small chat with the guys who are counting the laps at the end of the pool. The small chat helps. Last year I'd changed right away and sat by the pool, and gotten chilled. So this year I wait until 10 minutes to go, then change. Back to the pool. More light banter. I psyche myself up, and wait until there's 20 seconds to go before I put on my goggles and drop in. You could get in the pool 2 minutes before the start of your heat, but somehow this felt better. Someone used that two minutes to start swimming laps that wouldn't count. I guess he was just loosening up. Insane goofball. (Wish I had that kind of talent and energy.)
Now, in all that banter, I'd made it clear to the lap counter that I was shooting for a mile. I'd clocked a mile last year with 6 seconds to spare. My nightmare was to be a half lap short; to just miss it. He reassured me he'd let me know so I could stop at exactly a mile and save my energy for the bike and run. And, honestly, the swim felt great. I never pull a muscle or hurt myself during the swim. The only things that can go wrong are getting water in your goggles (annoying; could lose time if you drain them and smash them back on. But then your seal around your eyes is somewhat suspect. The best seal is when your face is dry and your goggles wet, or vice versa. So after your first put them on, that's it. Most swimmers like to swish their goggles in the water. I prefer to wipe my face down with the water and put my goggles on dry. Seems to work better.) or sucking some water in your lungs (coughing/choking). So I chug along. Never quit, never stop. Then, with five minutes to go I pull up and ask my lap counter how I'm doing. He says I need five more laps. To nab a mile, I know that I need to average 54 seconds a lap. So five laps in less than five minutes is music to my ears. I push through and get them. I pull up and the guy says I have 90 seconds to spare. I'm very happy and impressed with myself. I wait a few seconds on the edge, catch my breath, then swim over a few lanes to the pool ladder and climb out. As I walk by my swim counter I look at his clipboard. He has me down for 32 laps. 32?? Huh. I thought 33 laps was a mile. Was it 32 or 33? I grimace, not liking what I'm seeing. I wander back to the changing room, grab a quick hot shower to stay loose, change into my bike/run gear, grab my two bottles of homemade Accelerade, and head up to the bike with 2 minutes to spare.
I walk to the bikes. I'm feeling much better than last year. This year I feel more relaxed, I have my wind, and everything seems more familiar. I hop on and peddle lightly with no resistance. I have a minute to go. The problem for me with the bike is my legs cramp up if I go too hard. Especially my calf muscles. For swimming, I know to start off strong, let my energy fall off, find a rhythm, then as that tapers down, push myself toward the end. But for biking, I'm pretty sure that won't work. I start off going easy, and slowly ramp it up to a rhythm. By five minutes in, I've got a comfortable clip of 16.5 mph and by 10 minutes I'm at 17 mph. But I can't seem to push much beyond that. I can feel twinges in my left calf muscle again. It's not bad, but it's talking to me. Ug. I flutter between 17 and 17.1 mph the whole time until there's 2 minutes left. Then I give it all I've got. When I'm done, my legs are pretty wobbly and I'm a little dizzy. Still, I'm in better shape than last year at this point in the triathlon. I've downed one bottle of Accelerade and I've got another one for the run. I stumble/walk around a bit, then stretch. Finally, I lay on the ground for a couple minutes to just relax and control my breathing. A guy walks over to me to ask how I'm doing. People laying on the ground make them nervous. I'm fine. He goes away.
I start up the tread mill with 5 seconds to go before the start. Immediately my calf muscles feel tight. I run in intervals, normally, on the treadmill. I start at 4.2 mph for a minute, then ramp to 6.5 mph for 2 minutes, then 7.3 mph for a minute, then 8.0 mph for a minute. Then start all over again. Usually. In a perfect world. I get through my first set okay, but I can tell I won't finish my second set of intervals. I ad hoc my intervals the rest of the time, dropping down to 4.2 mph for a minute when I need it, then pushing back up to 6.5 or 7.5 mph for a couple minutes. With two minutes to go I start feeling cramps in my side. With one minute to go I have to drop back down from 7.5 mph to 4.0 mph. Gotta do what you gotta do. With 20 seconds left I've recovered enough to push the treadmill to 11.0 mph (the maximum setting) and sprint.
Its over. And... I felt great. Just like Karen remembered/promised. I was exhausted, but thrilled. I'd survived again. And this time, in better condition that the last. I walk around for a few minutes, then go to the swag bag area where they have food, snacks, drinks, and your 'you finished' bag of goodies. Now, this is going to seem childish. But I LOVE that swag bag. I can seriously motivate myself to sign up for the Triathlon every year just for the stupid swag bag. This year they upgrade the cotton T-shirt to a grey dry fit long sleeve shirt. Nice. That's easily 20 bucks right there. The bag itself is larger than last year. Then there's some odds and ends: coupons, money clip, pen, chapstick, etc. I grab my gear, eat a couple free small subs, a cereal bar, and look at the posted scores on the wall.
I was right. The first thing I notice is that they don't have me as completing a mile in the swim. They have me at .97. Grrrrr. My lap guy got it wrong; I needed 33 laps, not 32. He stopped me too early. I could have easily knocked out another lap with 90 seconds. Without question. Soooooo, my final distance total is 12.69 miles; same as last year. I could have beaten last year's total by a small margin. Robbed. I shake off the frustration and focus on the good stuff. I'm no longer afraid of the event. Its so much fun, the people are so positive and encouraging, and I can finish. And I'm figuring out how to pace myself to avoid injury/cramping. My confidence is up.
http://www.recsports.umn.edu/triumah/results.html
Things I learned:
1) the cardio you gain from running carries over to the pool. So as long as you do SOME swimming in the couple months before the triathlon, you'll be okay. Don't over focus on the pool training. You can knock out a mile no problem. And don't count on the volunteer person to KNOW that 33 laps is a mile. Tell them. Better yet, grab their stupid clipboard and circle it for them. Nicely. With a smile.
2) Biking is your toughest event. Your calf muscles cramp up. Figure out a strategy to get better performance and endurance. This is your biggest roadblock. Accelerade helps. I drank it as soon as I was done with the swim and kept drinking it the rest of the event. But it's not enough to push hard on the bike. I need to train my calf muscles. Spin classes? Hmmmmm. New thought: maybe I could change my push off during my swim to use less of my calf muscles?? Maybe I'm blowing them up in the pool before I get to the bike and a way of using my thighs more (stronger, larger muscle groups) would save me. Huh. I'll have to play with this notion and test it.
3) Run training is fantastic. It boosts my cardio, trims me down, and helps a LOT with swimming. I was at least 6 pounds lighter this year than last time. That's just from increasing my distance and endurance on run training and lightening up on the swimming (which bulks my upper body).
4) Accelerade is your friend. I started using it a month or so before the triathlon and it seemed to help. I'll use it with Endurox R4 after my runs/exercise this next year and see what happens. Hopefully I can trim down another 6-7 pounds and increase my stamina.
5) This is fun. Quit judging yourself like this is the military. You're not climbing the Alps to get away from the invading Nazi army. You aren't Jason Bourne. The only person kicking your butt is yourself, so do it with a grin. Remember. Fun. Tell Karen to remind you if you ever seem to forget this.
6) You are not a real triathlete. They are a special breed of talented loony wacked-out people who push their bodies to the limit. You compete in a sanitized indoor triathlon sprint and that's all you can handle. So make sure you respect the Big Boys and Girls that hammer out the crazy stuff (like your dad who has actually competed in the Ironman in Hawaii, God bless his demented brain) by stating you compete in a triathlon sprint. It's different. Kind of like AA baseball isn't the big leagues. *Ali G snap of the fingers* Respect.
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| Showing, clearly, that my learning curve is low, I've signed up for the University of Minnesota's Tri-U-Mah triathlon again. It took an act of discipline to register this time. I know what it takes to participate. Or, rather, what it will take from me to participate with the integrity I expect of myself. It'll take everything I've got. And, honestly, I'm not sure I'm looking forward to it. I don't have fear driving me this year, quite the same way I did last time. And if you don't have a passion for what you're doing, its probably not going to go well. So I've been questioning myself. Should I quit? Should I just let the
gym be a lower-key source of fitness? Am I setting myself up to just
burn out or really pop something (injury)? Some people have amazing
willpower. My best friend does. My wife does. But I don't. I have
other gifts. But not willpower. So I struggle.
The upside is that I started my serious training in the summer this time, instead of the fall. I've been hitting the gym three times a week, just about every week, for months. And I've remained uninjured (which is huge, as this seriously cramps the gains made in your conditioning).
Then a spark hit. I sent an email again to the head of the triathlon, asking if they could check their system to see if my results would post in the correct age category (last year they slotted me with the 40-49 year olds). And she assured me that it would be correct this year and fixed the website for last year. That meant a lot to me. It really did. I can't explain why. But I can feel the spark, the desire, igniting in me a little bit. Which is good. I'm going to need a passion if I'm going to equal or exceed last year's performance. Triathlons are about desire. Talent helps. But really, for each person, its a test of desire. You have to WANT it. Somewhere. Deep.
I'm not a natural athlete, and I'm not a natural at willpower. So this is hard. And somewhere, somehow, God is teaching me something. The lessons of today and the seemingly unrelated events of the now are the cobblestones of the deciding moments of the future.
"Character cannot be summoned at the moment of a crisis if it has been squandered by years of compromise and rationalization. The only testing ground for the heroic is the mundane. The only preparation for that one profound decision which can change a life or even a nation is those hundreds of half-conscious, self-defining, seemingly insignificant decisions made in private. Habit is the daily battleground of character."
--Senator Dan Coates
God is good.
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Everybody needs purpose, identity, and a source of love and people to love. Not only that, but in a world of increasing data, media, distractions, and harried agendas, we need a system that grounds us in those things despite the demands of the day on hand.
I discovered a system that works pretty well for me. I hit the gym 3x a week to train for the Tri-U-Mah annual indoor triathlon. If I'm not swimming, I'm able to listen to sermons on my PDA. So that's what I do. And since this allows me to listen to 3-5 sermons a week, I want a large archive of quality material that will challenge me and encourage me. Most websites give you a week or two of material. Some only offer streaming media. So while I've found some pastors sermons fascinating, the lack of an archive really gimps using them as a resource.
So when my friend, Trent, pointed out some sermons from a preacher he liked, and I discovered this:
http://www.whchurch.org/content/page_26.htm
and realized that his material was right in the sweet zone of challenging, intellectual, practical, and had depth, I found what I was looking for.
So. If you are wondering how to bathe yourself in quality preaching, I'd recommend the above archive. Start at the 2005 sermons and move forward.
Recommended.
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| I think I've entered what I accept as 'mid life'. Its when the tipping point of your energy, time, and resources tip from yourself and stay convincingly weighted toward others. When you're young, you soak up what you want and take what you need. You have hobbies, favorite things to do and play. You are functionally self centered. Life is about you, your wants, your needs, and your thoughts. Being 'good' is more about becoming a better version of yourself. Perhaps you try to be a good influence on others, but you're not sure how to do it or why others are really your problem.
Then you get older and become a young adult. You're still stuffing yourself full of things. Independence, cars, perhaps education and career, dating (desired to be admired and seen as worthy of love and affection), and fun. The stakes are higher, the consequences are bigger, and the thrill is greater for most anything you do. The sky is the limit if you have the courage to apply yourself and fight for the life you hope for. That's sort of the bastion of the American dream. Its usually held and pursued by the youth of the United States, especially as a mindset of suburban middle-class that want to play and win in the economic rat race.
Then there's this stage that I find myself where there's not enough time, energy, or interests to give to others, love others, be a husband, a father, a brother, a son, a church member/leader, a professional, and still have those hobbies, those dreams, and personal indulgences of your youth. There comes a time when you have to choose to live for others as the focus of your being, or you live for yourself and give to others what is left over with your time, energy and interests. Self centered vs. other centered. Its a tough choice. Its a hard thing to give up the sugar in life (self indulgent fun) and make the staple of your diet whole wheat (selflessness). Its the difference between embracing being an adult, or trying to stay a child (feel young?). Its the difference between deepening our relationship with Christ, to seek a likeness with His nature and accept the journey of the cross, or to embrace this world and ourselves and hope He still saves us.
I bleed because it is good. I bleed because Jesus did. I pour out my life because it is life giving, beautiful and echoes the nature of God. In the end we must choose.
What is the center of our living... our being?
(Its not about me.)
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I was frustrated. I competed in the Triathlon, and did fairly well:
But I didn't do as well as I'd have liked. I pushed it in the bike and pulled my right hamstring after 10 minutes, causing me to ease off a bit. I then gimped along in the run as best I could. Still, it was a solid first effort. My goals of 1 mile in the swim, 9 miles on the bike, and 3 miles on the run were solid. The biggest discouragement for me wasn't my performance. It was that they *gasp* stuck me in the 40-49 year old category. I didn't realize it until they posted the results on the website. What's up with THAT?!? I can't get anyone to change it either. Bah.
So. Ignore the age bracket. I'm a decade younger than they think (which, actually, makes my performance look a little WORSE, honestly, comparatively).
I had a great time. There were people there of all ages and abilities. The energy was one of encouragement and mutual respect. I had been nervous that it would be hyper-competitive. But it wasn't like that at all. If you wanted advice from someone that was a better performer and they were hanging around, all you had to do was ask. I felt so encouraged and enthused (and exhausted :) when I was done. In fact my biggest fear is that this next time around I won't have my nervous energy to help keep me focused.
I went into a moderate drifting gym mode from March until August to avoid burnout. I stepped up my training in August, switching from the bike + elliptical to lots of treadmill running. I can easily run 3 miles in under 30 minutes right now. I'm starting to pull some pool training in September and hope to have both of those at their Triathlon goals (same as last year's) by November. Then I'll rotate in the biking. Somehow. I still don't know how to train for all three events without rotating one out and atrophying to some extent.
If I can hit or (dare I hope) exceed the 13 mile mark, I'll be pretty happy this time around.
Even if I never become a monster at this sporting event (like my father, who has raced in real IronMan events for years), the value to my health is immeasurable. And that's my real motivation:
- Being physically fit and available for my son until he moves out in another decade.
- Giving the Mrs. a physique that is appealing as a gift to her.
- Fighting nature's programming as responsibly as possible (nature loads the gun, nurture pulls the trigger).
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